Inside the Head of an Athlete

According to the National Association of Intercollegiate athletics, there are more than 60,000 enrolled student-athletes who participate in an array of sports across America. These students are met with challenges and expectations that can sometimes be more overwhelming than those placed on students who are not participating in a sport. Athletes have to meet all the same requirements and expectations of a regular student as well as being able to balance practices, games and meetings; for many of these young adults, it can take a toll on them not just physically but also mentally. According to an article by Katherine Schreiber of Psychology Today titled, “College athletes may be more depressed than you think,” more than 24 percent of all student-athletes have met symptoms of clinically significant depression. Although this is only one form of mental illness, student-athletes also suffer from symptoms such as high levels of anxiety and stress.

As a student-athlete at Grand View University and someone who’s experienced these issues, I can relate to what many collegiate athletes are going through. After talking to people who go to GV, it was clear to me that many of us share the same issues and problems.

For many students, the days start out early with 6 a.m. lifting. According to Justin Carroll, a football player at GV, lifts are the beginning to a long day of school and sports.

Photo by Cassie Yardley

“I am up at about 5:15 a.m. so I have enough time to actually wake up and get dressed and brush my teeth,” Carroll said. “Then after lifting, I try and get back pretty quick so I can get some food and shower and maybe take like a half hour nap before I gotta go to class at 10.”

With his first class starting at 10 a.m., he has a full day of classes that ends around 1 p.m. But his day is far from over.

“After I eat, I gotta get back to my room so I can get some homework done and get things organized before I gotta go to our meetings at 4:30 p.m.,” Carroll said. “Those usually last about an hour. Then I gotta get ready and head over to the field because practice starts at 6:30 p.m.”

Although the day is over after a two-hour practice, the night has just begun for Carroll.

“After practice, I usually get back to shower and make something to eat. Then try and get some homework done and hopefully make it in bed by 11 p.m.,” Carroll said.

Not only is this day physically exhausting, but for many student athletes, a day such as this can be even more mentally exhausting. However, this is almost a daily routine for many student-athletes, and every so often, these things can become tremendously overwhelming. Paired with outside pressures such as family and work, this could lead to things such as panic attacks, anxiety attacks and even suicides.

Cam Maxfield, another football player at GV, knows firsthand how these overwhelming feelings can affect some students.

“I was just sitting up wide awake at like 2 a.m. just thinking about all the stuff I had to do for school and then thinking about playing well every day at spring ball, and it just got to be too much,” Maxfield said. “My room started to feel smaller, and I got a real heavy feeling on my chest, and I knew I had to go outside and calm myself down and relax.”

Photo by Cassie Yardley

Maxfield is not the only person who has suffered from these episodes. Amara Taylor, a two-time All-American track and field athlete at GV, has also been a victim to these feelings.

“I’ve definitely gone through a lot of high levels of stress, especially being a nursing major and an athlete, and it wasn’t until this year that I had a panic attack because of everything going on,” Taylor said.

Taylor said the support from her friends and family, along with her coaches, helps to get her through some of those tough times.

“My coach can tell when I am going through things and will ask me every now and then if things are all right,” Taylor said. “Also, my friends and family really show me a lot of support in being there for me when I need them.”

Unfortunately, some people suffer in a much deeper way that can lead them to dark places and result in heartbreaking loss.

Tyler Hilinski, a former quarterback for Washington State University, died in 2018 after he took his life in his apartment. Many people blame the sport of football itself, saying he suffered from chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), which is an injury that many football players risk when playing the sport.

Another example of this is Junior Seau, a linebacker in the NFL whose death in 2012 was classified as a suicide. In an article titled, “Junior Seau’s family OKs having his brain studied, ‘L.A. Times’ Reports” written by Mark Memmott in 2012, Memmott describes just how serious this disease is and how it has affected other professional athletes.

“Seau’s suicide was the third by a former NFL player since February 2011,” Memmot wrote. “First, former Chicago Bears safety Dave Duerson shot himself in the chest — after writing a note asking that his brain be studied for chronic traumatic encephalopathy — a disease linked to depression. Then last month, former Atlanta Falcon, Ray Easterling shot himself in the head. He was part of a lawsuit against the NFL over head injuries and was suffering from dementia.”

Graphic by Melody Wigdahl

Memmott also described the symptoms of someone suffering from CTE, which include depression, memory loss, headaches and dementia, some of which are symptoms that even the average college student, athlete or not, goes through. When paired with other symptoms such as high levels of stress, anxiety or depression and going untreated, it can result in horrific endings.

Fortunately, GV has Kent Schornack and Kenlyn Gordon, who are the director and assistant director of the leadership and counseling department. Gordon has plenty of experience dealing with mental illness regarding non-athlete students as well as student-athletes.

“Student-athletes are juggling more than just the things people see like school, sports and work,” Gordon said. “They have to meet a lot of expectations from their coaches, family, partners, which can be a lot to have to deal with sometimes.”

The way people view athletes can also have a huge role in the way they think and feel mentally. Athletes will deny needing help or feel as if it is a weak thing to do, and Gordon knows firsthand what that can do to a student.

“What they don’t realize is that the longer they don’t do anything, the worse it will get, and then by the time they do want help, they are already really depressed or really anxious,” Gordon said.

Gordon also said speaking about how you feel is not a weak trait but a strong one. If more athletes were to speak out on mental illness and share their stories, it could help other athletes become more comfortable and seek help.

“Professional athletes are starting to speak out more and more about their own issues, which I think is showing younger athletes that it is ok to speak out and get help,” Gordon said.

Maxfield also explained what it meant to him to see professional athletes speak out on their issues. He said that seeing professional athletes open up about their mental illnesses and their private issues in general gives him confidence to do the same and seek help.

What people know today about the body both physically and mentally is far beyond what we knew at the time of Seau’s death. His death sparked a huge fire in the right direction to learn more about CTE and other mental illnesses surrounding football. Along with this, we also have to take steps in learning more about mental illnesses in general and what we as students, athletes and citizens can do to help each other. Mental illness does not only occur in student-athletes; it is a problem that surrounds every college campus in America. With the right support and help from faculty and staff along with coaches and players speaking out and seeking help for these issues, students and student-athletes alike can be better treated and helped before it’s too late.

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